On March 19, 2023, I wrote a blog titled “Impact of dialysis on marriage: Does dialysis correlate with divorce?”My research found at least five areas directly impact marriage+dialysis; 2. Emotional Impact and 5. Intimacy & sexual health. Anything we can do and/or embrace for improvements in these two areas should/could lead to a more optimum dialysis experience – without the expenditure of much time and/or money on our part in this instance.
-I recently read an interesting article by Dr. Cortney Warren “If you use any of these 9 phrases every day, ‘your relationship is more successful’ than most” Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in marriages, love addiction, and breakups, and received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School. She has written almost 50 peer-reviewed journal articles and delivered more than 75 presentations on the psychology of relationships. Follow her on Twitter @DrCortneyWarren, according to the article which is linked here.
It is so important that readers of this blog can take on the full impact of Dr. Warren’s wisdom, that I am including verbatim the bulk of the text from the article for your edification. From here on in the blog is a direct quote from the article by Dr. Warren linked above. The lead graphic is also from the article for full attribution. These are the nine phrases to incorporate into your daily interfaces with your partner.
1. “I appreciate your effort.”
It’s tempting to become overly focused on things you don’t like about your partner and to point them out at every chance you get.
But it’s important to highlight the good in their actions. Happy couples express gratitude for each other’s efforts. It’s a great way to make everyone feel valued.
Similar phrases:
- “I appreciate that you work so hard to support our family.”
- “I’m grateful you take the kids to school because it helps me get things done in the morning.”
2. “I like you.”
The healthiest couples don’t just love each other, they like each other, too. Loving someone is an intense feeling of affection; liking is about seeing them for who they are and acknowledging the attributes you enjoy about them.
Similar phrases:
- “I like that you are so passionate about staying healthy.”
- “I like how devoted you are to your hobbies.”
3. “Help me better understand this.”
We all have different upbringings, vulnerabilities, values, and beliefs that shape how we think relationships should work.
If your partner reacts to a situation in a way you don’t understand, telling them that you want to know them better is key to resolving conflict and bonding at a deeper level.
Similar phrases:
- “I don’t know why this is so upsetting to you. Please help me see your perspective.”
- “I want to work through this together, and I need to understand you better to do that.”
4. “I’m listening…”
Disagreements are inevitable, but it’s important to still support each other through active listening.
You have to be willing to suspend your desire to be “right” or to get your point across — long enough to hear and empathize with your partner’s perspective.
Similar phrases:
- “I’ll stop talking now and really try to listen to your point of view.”
- “I want to hear your side of things, even if we ultimately disagree.”
5. “I’m sorry.”
When things don’t go right or as planned, healthy couples know that both partners play a part in the situation.
Taking responsibility for our role in those conflicts — and genuinely apologizing — is critical to repairing rifts.
Similar phrases:
- “I didn’t communicate my feelings in a respectful way to you, and I’m sorry for that.”
- “I didn’t like the way you acted last night, but I also need to apologize for lashing out.”
6. “I forgive you. Can you forgive me?”
Forgiveness is hard. It requires being vulnerable, letting go of something that caused you pain, and changing your feelings toward your partner.
But studies have shown that couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer, more satisfying relationships.
Similar phrases:
- “I know we can’t change the past, so I’m actively trying to let it go and move forward.”
- “I made a mistake and I’m trying to forgive myself. I hope you can forgive me, too.”
7. “I am committed to you.”
Being in a relationship is a choice. Reassuring your partner that you’re still choosing to be with them and to work through challenges will help create a sense of safety and stability.
Similar phrases:
- “Even when times are tough, I still choose to be with you.”
- “I’m here, and I want to make this work with you. We’re a team.”
8. “Let’s have some fun!”
If you can find humor (or playfully tease each other) during tense moments, your relationship might be stronger than you think.
The happiest couples are able to break tension and recalibrate the mood by finding room for an authentic smile, silly banter or a lighthearted joke.
Similar phrases:
- “We should get some fresh air. Want to do something fun today?”
- “I know I’m a lot sometimes. Let’s take a breather from the tough topics and watch a comedy.”
9. “I love you.”
This one is simple but always worth reminding. Verbally expressing your romantic love for one another keeps the relationship alive. And when you say it, make sure you truly mean it.
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