A recent full-page ad in the WSJ paid for by La Foundation Publicis states that “50% of all people with cancer are afraid to tell their employers.” (WSJ 1/18/2023 p. A18) The ad goes on to state “We aim to abolish the stigma and insecurity that exist for people with cancer in the workplace.” I strongly suspect that the word “dialysis” could be substituted for “cancer” with the same implication. If people are afraid of what their employers, and by extension, the population view them as, what does that say about how they view themselves, their feelings, their mental state, and their relationships with others? Feelings are a two-way street. What single factor has been found to keep people physically stronger, minds sharper, experience less depression, less diabetes (keep in mind the strong positive correlation between diabetes and dialysis), recover from illness sooner, and generally live a fulfilled life? Sounds like a lead-in to a TV commercial for a magic pill or a snake oil sales pitch. It’s not.
For more than 85 years a group of Harvard studies has investigated what really keeps people healthy and happy, regardless of their circumstances. Particulars of this research have been published in the book shown above. It is linked to Amazon for reference and linked here also.
ONE factor in their study consistently stands out with a high explanation of ties to physical and mental health and by association longevity, and that is (drum roll please) the “enduring importance of good relationships.” The Harvard researchers found that close personal connections are the single overriding principle for living. good relationships keep us healthier, and happier. Period. End of discussion. So if you desire to be healthiest and happiest while on dialysis, cultivate warm relationships of all kinds. Reach out to your family and friends. Engage with your Dialysis Team. That’s what they are there for. Read this blog and make comments. I will respond to them. Engage your nephrologist. Prepare for our monthly televisits. Read your lab reports. Do research as much as possible to understand what they are telling you and your dialysis team. You are on the one hand your best advocate and on the other your best critic. The bottom line, get it out there and shake a hand. See the video below for a discussion by one of the primary researchers, Robert Waldinger:
In the military, we have a concept of “Having a shipmate’s six.” When someone tells you that they’ve “got your six,” it means they’re watching your back. By extension, that person expects you to have their back as well. “Got your six” is now a ubiquitous term in the military that also highlights the way military members look out for each other. The term derives from aircraft of old that could not see what was behind them. In a relative clock around the aircraft where 12 o’clock is straight ahead, and six is straight behind, having a fellow pilot’s six inferred watching out for enemy aircraft sneaking up behind them and shooting them down.
Example of getting it out there: My wife and I have a Golden Retriever named Dickens. (See picture below at 7 weeks.) Currently, he is a 7-month-old 60-pound bundle of energy that requires exercise at least twice a day. Our routine is I take him to our local Dog Park in the morning and also take him on a long walk. Obviously, this is both good for him and for me. My wife takes him for a long walk in the evening. While on our morning walk I meet lots of people who must pet a Golden and by association meet with me and share the love. I just met an ex-Navy pilot on our walk who lives close to us with a pool. He has an American Golden named Jackson who gets along perfectly with Dickens. He has invited us to exercise our Golden in his pool and interface with his family socially.
As Lavern Baker sang in the 1953 song embedded below, get out there and ‘shake a hand!’ I assure you your dialysis outlook will greatly improve. Who knows, you might get to love a Golden Retriever if you are lucky also! See you at the dog park.
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